The Ear the Eye the Arm and the BH
by persian85033
Summary: 3 new mutants helping the BH to become detectives. R &R.
1. Chapter 1

Ear Eye and Arm are not my characters. They are from a book by Nancy Farmer, titled The Ear, they Eye and The Arm, which I highly recommend to everybody here.

Mystique walked into the house, and with her, were three other mutants. She called everyone to come downstairs. Pietro had been brushing his hair, Lance playing his guitar, Toad looking for flies, and Blob searching in the refrigator, even though he already knew there was nothing.

"I see all of you are busy."she said sarcastically. "These are the Ear, the Eye and the Arm. They're detectives."she told them.

The boys looked at them.

"Hi."said Toad.

"And?"asked Pietro.

"And all of you will now be going into the detective business with them. This place is a dump! And it would help put you to good use. Instead of staying here all day, making a bigger mess than what we already have, you will help these guys solve mysteries. And earning a little money along the way. Ear has exceptionally good hearing, Eye, exceptionally good eyesight, and Arm, has excellent sensing abilities, and a bit of telepathy and so forth."she explained to them.

"Oh."

"Wouldn't people find out about us, though?"

Mystique smiled.

"Only if you tell them. No one has to know how you get the job done, just that you get it done!"she told them.

"But we're not detectives."

"Then you'll learn. That's what they're here for. To teach you something useful!"

"What if we can't?"asked Toad.

Mystique glared at him, and Toad went to hide behind Blob.

"Very well, I have to get to work."she said, as she changed into her more human form, and got into her car.

"Oh, well, welcome to the Brotherhood, yo."Toad said to the newcomers.

"It's not so different from home."said Ear, looking around. "We just need a calender is all. For our appointments."

"Well, we really don't have the money to get one."

"That's not a problem."said Eye, and he got a piece of scrap paper and attached it to the wall. "See?"

"I see."

Arm was about to swat a fly with his hand.

"AAAAHHHH! NOOOO!"screamed Toad and jumped to get it.

"Ow!"exclaimed Ear, and he folded his sensitive ears.

"Oh, sorry."said Toad.

"Keep your voice down."Eye told him. "Just not so loud. It hurts his ears. Just not so loud."

"Oh."

"So you guys are detectives? What kind of mysteries do you solve?"asked Lance.

"All kinds. We specialize in sneaky husbands."said Arm.

"Sneaky husbands?"

"That's right."

"I might like this business."said Pietro. "So, first things first, why doesn't everybody start getting to know everybody?"he ran to get some water. "We don't have anything else."he explained to them.

"I haven't felt so comfortable since...well, maybe not even at home."said Arm. "You guys give off a lot of positive energy."he said.

"Um, thanks."said Lance.

"The lady seemed much more negative."

"She's the boss."Toad shrugged.

"Well, she could put her abilities to good use, but it doesn't seem she'll be working with us."said Eye.

"Nah, she wouldn't, yo."

"So how do we get our first mystery?"asked Pietro. "How much should we charge?"

"We don't charge much."Eye told him.

"Well, from now on, we will, otherwise, Mystique'll be pissed."he said.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Everybody ran to get it, but Arm got there first. When he came back into the room, he said "Well, we've got our first case! And it sounds like a good one!"


	2. Chapter 2

Toad hopped across the room to listen in on what the other person was telling Arm over the phone. Arm put the speaker on.

"Hi."said the other voice. "Well, I don't have a sneaky husband, that's for sure. If I did, just let me tell you he wouldn't live to tell the tale! I'm still single, thank goodness. I really need your help in solving this mystery here. See, the problem is, that, well, yesterday, my dad left his wallet on the table over there while he went to do something else, and then when we came back it was gone! But there was no evidence of a break in, or anything. Just he wallet was gone. And everybody says it wasn't them. And, hey, it couldn't have been anybody here, could it? No one was home? And no one broke in. And there was nothing else missing. Just he wallet."

"Hmmm."said Lance. "It does sound odd."

"I'm kind of worried, cause if they broke in, what if next time they want to take Sheeba?"

"What's a sheeba?"

"It's my stuffed tiger."

"What would anyone want with a stuffed tiger."

"To ask for money to return it, of course. Or the fish? Or my kitty? Or the dog?"

"What's the address?"asked Eye.

She gave it to them.

"You know, it's the house that's got the kitty with the potted plant next to it."

"Uh, yeah."said Blob.

"We'll be right there."

"You're here!"she exclaimed.

"Right. At your service."

"Good."

"See, this is where the wallet was. Right here."she pointed at the dining room table."

Toad went to sniff.

"Don't smell nothing strange, yo."

"Maybe if we take a look outside."said Arm.

She tied the dog up so they could search the yard for evidence.

"Really doesn't seem like anyone broke in at all."said Eye, looking at every single detail.

"No."

"Tell us everything you remember about that day."said Arm, as they sat, drinking raspberry iced tea around the kitchen table.

"Well, let's see. My dad had gone to the bank that day."she said. "At least that's what I heard, or so."

"Does he usually go to the bank the same day every week?"

She frowned.

"No, I don't think so. He isn't that type of person. He procrastinates a lot and just does things whenever."she shrugged.

"So, he isn't like, a person of habit, that you can predict when and where he'll be or anything, then."

"Oh, no, definitely no. We did go somewhere that day, though. Everyone went for Chinese, cause it was my brother's birthday. Then we went to buy him his fishtank. That was his gift. An aquarium. And we came back, and..."she shrugged. "the wallet was gone. That was it."

"It does sound suspicious."

"Oh, yeah. My brother forgot to put the dog out that day. Before we left. When we came back, he was still inside."

"So someone could definitely not have broken in. If the dog was inside."

"Yeah, this dog gets real mad if he sees someone he doesn't know."

"Too true."said Toad, remembering how the dog had almost lunged at him when it had seen him. "Good thing he was tied up."he muttered.

"This is getting weirder and weirder."

"Can the dog have been...bribed?"asked Lance. "You know, with a treat or something?"

"Um...I don't think so. This dog doesn't usually fall for that. At least not from strangers. He hates strangers."

They looked around the table.

"Hmmm. A small piece torn off a dollar bill."said Eye.

"Why would anyone rip money apart?"asked Pietro.

"It's got holes in it. And it's not neatly torn."commented Eye.

Meanwhile, Ear, Toad and Blob were inspecting the yard. Toad kept close to Blob, as the dog kept barking at them.

"I hate loud dogs."said Ear, folding his ears under his earmuffs.

"I hate all dogs."said Toad, clutching Blob's shoulder.

"The dirt here seems like it's softer."said Blob, while they were inspecting the back of the toolshed.

"It's been dug in recently."

"Excellent."said Toad, and he began to dig. "Never know what kind of buried treasure is in here.

"Dog food!"exclaimed Ear.

"Aw."said Toad.

Just as they were turning away, "AAAAHHHH! Money!"

"What?"

"Whoa. Whoever buried this here must be rich! $800!"

Ear took that money out of his hand.

"Buried with dog food!"

They ran back to the house, where Pietro, Lance, Eye and Arm were looking for more clues.

"I think we've got it!"exclaimed Ear. "Buried right behind the toolshed, with dog food!"

"What!"

"Just that."

"But...the dog couldn't have buried the money, and anyway, it was $10000. Where's the rest of it? And the wallet?"

"It looks chewed up."

"I'm guessing the dog ate the rest of the money."said Eye.

"What? But...? Well, my brother says he sometimes buries his food, and he'll see him dig little holes and eat food from there when there isn't any in his dish in between meals!"

"Maybe he thought the money was food, yo."

"My cousin likes to put money in his mouth."she said thoughtfully.

"Maybe he learned it from him."suggested Toad.

"What are we going to do about the rest of the money?"

"Have the dog throw it up?"Blob suggested.

She sighed.

"This was almost a week ago."

"Guess that's why you should always remmeber to put the dog outside, and not let your pets have access to money."Pietro said.

"I guess so. Well, thanks, guys. I would never have thought to look behind the shed. Really. Well, how much do I owe you?"

She paid them and they drove off.

"Weird."said Pietro on the way back.

"Well, next time she'll remember to look behind the shed if she didn't put the dog out."

When they got back, the phone rang immediately, and everyone ran to answer it. Arm got there first, as always.

BTW, the story about the dog eating the money was true. Sort of. I did know someone who left their wallet in their pants and when they looked for it their money was in the back yard, torn in shreds, and everything.lol


	3. Chapter 3

"The dog's dying!"the boy on the other end screamed.

"Hey, wait a minute, now what, yo?"

"They dog's dying! I'm not sure what happened to him. He was fine a little while ago, but then I put something down, and he began to bleed all over the place!"

"AAAHHH!"Toad screamed his girly scream.

"What's this got to do with a mystery? We're detectives, not animal doctors."said Pietro.

"This is a mystery!"said the boy. "Don't you see? Why is he bleeding?"

"Maybe you need to go to a vet, kid."suggested Lance.

"No! I'm calling you! I'll do anything! Even clean your house for you. I'll wash, sweep, cook, anything, you just gotta help my dog!"

"Oh, it's a deal!"exclaimed Pietro.

They got his address and phone number, and went off.

"You see, you see, you see, he's dying!"exclaimed the boy.

"He does look pretty bad."said Lance.

"Yup."confirmed Arm.

"Exactly how long can dog bleed before it's...you know?"asked Toad.

"I think you better not say anything like that."Pietro told him.

"Something smells yummy."said Blob.

Everyone else gagged.

"How can you think of food, when you're looking at something like this!"asked Lance.

"I was just saying."

"It doesn't look like blood."said Eye. "It's got a different texture. And there doesn't seem to be any more coming out of the wound."

"But he's bleeding."

"He doesn't look like he's in any pain."

"That's because he's a brave dog."

"Brave dog or no brave dog. I still think you should have gone to a vet."

Ear went to get some towels, to wipe off the wound.

"Wait a minute. There's no wound here."said Eye, looking closely at the dog's face.

"It was tomato sauce!"

"Oh."said the boy shyly. "We did have spagetti and meatballs the other day. He must have gotten into it. That's what happened to the leftovers!"

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Well, I guess I owe you a month of cleaning."he said.

"You bet!"said Toad.

"When do I start?"

"Right now!"

He nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

"Well, I don't have a sneaky husband, but I do have a sneaky boyfriend."said the girl on the other end.

"That's our specialty."said Ear.

"That's right."said Eye.

"See, he hasn't been talking to me as much as usual. And I can't seem to catch him at it! I know he's cheating on me!"

Arm started taking notes.

"Hmm. Don't worry, you'll be out of doubts in no time!"he promised.

"So, where do we start?"asked Pietro.

"Stalking the sneaky boyfriend, yo."said Toad.

"He's right. I've got all the information right here."said Arm.

They got ino the jeep and drove off.

"This is where he lives?"

"Seems like it."

They stopped in front of a ranch-style house with grass and a few weeds in the yard.

"Seems kind of depressing, yo."

"That must be his car. It matches the description."

Someone walked out.

"That must be him!"

Everyone's attention was suddenly on the young man who walked out.

"Right. Matches the description perfectly, and he's getting into the right car."

"Hmm. He seems happy. Very suspicious."said Pietro.

"Follow him!"

They followed the car to the mall.

"How are we supposed to keep track of him in there?"asked Blob.

"If we lose him, we split up, and then whoever finds him, just keeps track of him. Don't lose him."Lance said.

"Right."said everybody.

They went in, and followed him to a jewelry shop.

"Probably buying something for whoever he's seeing."

"True."

Then, they left the mall, and followed him to a bakery. Afterwards, he went to a very fancy restaurant, where another girl met him at the entrance.

"This is it!"exclaimed Pietro.

He went to pay phone to phone the girl.

"You did it? You've seen her?"she asked.

"Yup."

"Well?"

"Well, it turns out they are enjoying a very nice and elegant meal."

He gave her the address. She hung up before he had a chance to say anything else.

"Well, she's on her way."

As soon as she got there, she paid them, but everyone wanted to see the big scene. She looked furious, and they knew that she would probably make the biggest scene ever, and no one at that restaurant much less the boyfriend would ever forget it.

"This is so much fun."whispered Pietro.

She walked in, fuming, while they stood back.

"You!"she exclaime to the girl. "How could you!"

She grabbed her and started shaking her.

"And I trusted you! You were my best friend!"

"Wow, with her best frined."said Lance.

"I think there's something wrong here."said Arm. "She doesn't seem to understand anything. She seems confused."

"Who?"asked Eye.

"The cousin."

"What have you just done!"exclaimed the boyfriend. "NO! You've just ruined everything! Everything's been ruined!"

"Yeah, now I'm not blind anymore!"

"What are you talking about!"

"You were cheating on me!"

"No! We were just making arrangements for your birthday!"

"What!"exclaimed the girlfriend and the guys looking on.

"I know you love to dine at expensive places. I know you love silver jewelry, and you're a chocoloholic, so I had everything arranged. I was going to give you your first gift, which was going to be that jewelry set, and of course, then bring you here, and then we'd have the chocolate cake. I was just asking her, since she knows you so well, if she thought you'd like everything!"

Everyone looked amazed. They walked out quietly.

"That turned out to be a complete disaster."said Ear.

"True."

"Well, at least now we know suprises are never good."

Everyone agreed. When they got home, the phone rang. As usual, Arm answered it.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hello?"said the person on the other end.

"Hello."said Arm.

"You guys detectives?"

"Yup. Sneaky husbands are our specialty.

"Dude, I'm a guy, okay. I need you to helped me with something I can't figure out. And it's in your department."

"We solve all kinds of mysteries."

"Even better. Can you come right now?"

"Sure."

They got into the car and drove off.

"What took you so long?"

"Traffic, but we got here as fast as possible. What's the mystery?"asked Lance.

"It's inside."

They walked into the house, and went into a bedroom with an aquarium in the corner furthest from the window.

"See?"he said, pointing to it.

"It's nice."said Lance. "Hmm."he walked over to look at it. "Tiger barbs, rainbow fish, and wow, you've got three snails. Neat. What do you need somany for? What do you feed them? How long have you had them?"

"We're not pet sitters!"exclaime Pietro and Ear togethor.

"Nice aquarium, yo."

"Well, thanks. I got it for my birthday. The point is, I need to know whether the snails are boys or girls. My sister says she thinks they might breed."

"So?"asked Eye.

"Well, aren't you guys detectives? These are Mystery snails."

"Funny joke."said Pietro.

"No joke. That's what the sign said. Plus, my sister knows about them, and she calls them that, too."

"Hmm, you've got all different colors. Blue, gold, black, and ivory. Cool."Lance said, looking at the snails.

"So, can you tell? My sister tried, but she couldn't she said. She said we need someone who knows."

"How are we supposed to know?"

"You're detectives. You solve mysteries. These are Mystery snails."

Lance sighed.

"Well, I guess we're already here, we might as well do it."

He took a close look at one of the snails that were sticking to the glass.

"They all look the same to me, yo."

"Let me see."said Eye. "He's right, they do look the same."

"You're supposed to take them out. I know that much. Let's see. Well, I guess we'll have to take them out."

"You're supposed to take the whole thing off."

Lance removed the hood.

"You take them out. My sister always does that. I don't. I'm really scared to put my hand in cause there's fish in there."

"You're scared of the fish?"

"What if they die if I do that?"

"Then maybe we can use the net."

Lance reached for the net.

"My sister gets the snails with her hand. The one she doesn't wear the watch on."

Lance put his hand in. When he did, one of th snails fell to the bottom of the tank.

"You just dropped a snail!"

"He went in by himself. Anyway, now I don't have to pull him."

He took the snail out.

"These are my sister's books, fool."he said, as he gave Lance some of the books. "We gotta put them back. So be careful with them."

"I see. It is kind of hard to tell. You can't really tell. They're tiny."

Eye looked at the photographs, then at all three snails, when they got them out of the water, and on the nighttable, since he had the best vision, and could spot even a flea on the hairiest dog.

"Boy. Girl. Girl."he said.

"So the black one's a boy?"he asked.

"Looks like it."

"Okay."

Lance put the hood back on, but as a bunch of caps wer hanging above the aquarium, the hood hit one, and it fell into the water.

"That's my baseball cap! I have a gave next Monday."

"Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to."

"Aw, man! You need to turn the light back on. My sister says that the light has to be on. Otherwise the catfish comes out, and he might eat the little fish. They have to go in the jar for the night till they get a little bigger."

They drove home.

"How weird."

"Well, the snails and the fish were kind of cool."said Lance. "I always wanted an aquarium!"

"Whatever."

As soon as they got home, a few minutes later, the phone rang. Arm answered it, as usual.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Have I reached the detective agency?"asked the voice on the other end.

"Yup, that's us."said Arm.

"Oh, good, cause I really need your help."

"Sneaky husbands are our specialty. Boyfriends, too."

"Well, I don't have a boyfriend, so I don't need you for that. What I do need is for you to come over and find out who's been stealing all the food!"

"Stealing food?"

"Yeah, see, every day it happens!"

"What do they steal?"

"Well, the gallon of milk is always empty, no milk for breakfast, and lets' see...well, tons of stuff."

The person gave Arm their address and they drove off.

"Are you sure this is the right address, Arm?"Lance asked him, as they came across where the X Men lived.

"Positive. That's what he told me."

"Maybe you got it wrong."

"Well, we can't call, cause he didn't leave a phone number."

"If it was your mistake, I'm going to kill you!"

They went, and knocked on the door.

"We're here to see something about some food disappearing."said Eye.

"You!"exclaimed the guy who opened the door. "How do you know? You're the ones who've been taking it, aren't you?"

"Why would we be interested in stealing your food, Summers?"

"That should be the detectives!"exclaimed a voice.

Kurt came down.

"Oh. I was expecting the detectives I called."

"We are detectives."said Ear.

"What?"

"We're here to see about some food disappearing."

"Oh, well, you're right. Food has been disappearing. I can't believe you guys are actually detectives!"

"Well, we are. See, we're highly talented."said Eye. "My mother never lost a single thing. Not with my keen eyesight."

"Oh, well. See..."Kurt didn't know what to say.

"You hired these losers, Kurt?"

"They were the cheapest, and from what I've heard from people from school, the best. And I don't know about you, but I've been getting sick of not having what I want for breakfast because someone steals it!"

"Well, we'll have to see the scene of the crime."said Eye.

"Uh, right."said Kurt, nervously. "Uh, this way. We've tried everything! Locking the refrigerator, chains, everything we can think of. They must be master pickpockets or something. They never leave a trace! We've even tried leaving stuff out on purpose and as a trap and everything, nothing! I've thought of a security camera, but no!"

They listened sympathetically.

"It doesn't look like anyone took anything."said Blob, looking inside the refrigerator, and taking a candy bar that was in there.

He ate it quicly, before Kurt noticed.

"We have to restock every day! They only come at night. We've thought of going shopping really early, and only buying what we eat for that day, but that hasn't worked either!"

Pietro noticed Blob eating the candy bar.

"Hmm, you know, this is suspicious! We're going to have to take the fridge."he said to Kurt.

"Why?"

"To study the evidence a little closer! It could be that the fridge itself is part of the reason the food keeps disappering!"

"You think so? How?"

"I don't know, that's what we'll find out."

"Well, you guys know we don't get along, but everyone says you're good at what you do, so I'll take your word."

Pietro beamed.

"Good thinking, Pietro."said Lance. "That was awesone!"

Everyone else was laughing too hard to answer.

"But we really do have to figure out what's happening to the food."said Arm between laughs.

"Well, the place is simply haunted, how's that?"

Everyone laughed harder.

"This calls for a celebration!"

They rented some movies, and ate almost everything in the refrigerator. The next morning everything was still there.

"And no security."said Lance.

"Maybe it is haunted after all."

"Maybe it's an owl. They come out at night."said Toad.

"That's it! A midnight snacker! A sleepwalker!"

"Now I never heard anything more far fetched in my life."

"It could be. But who?"

"With socks!"exclaimed Lance.

"Socks?"

"The Plant That Ate The Dirty Socks!"

Lance went to buy different colored sock. They went to the mansion without anyone noticing. As soon everyone was asleep, they snuck in, and tied socks to everyone's wrists. Then they went to the kitchen and waited.

"Okay..."

"I need some Coke, yo. I'm falling asleep."

Lance grabbed him.

"Here they come!"

Kitty came in and threw all the unhealthy stuff out. Then she ate almost all that was left.

"Oh, wow."they said. "But where does everything else go?"

In response, Kitty threw everything out the window, and took out the garbage.

"The sock!"

They recovered it just in time.

"Whew!"

The next morning, they called Kurt to say who had been stealing the food.

"You're kidding!"

"Nope, see, everyone woke up with a sock on their wrist, didn't they?"

"Yeah."

"Kitty was the only one that moved. So..."

"I see."

Everyone thanked them for solving the food disappeance mystery.

"Thanks! You guys aren't so bad."said Kurt. "Now the professor is trying to figure out how to solve Kitty's sleep walking mystery."

They were back at the house when they got another phone call. Arm answered as usual.


	7. Chapter 7

"It's me."said the voice on the other end.

"I don't know anyone called me."Arm replied.

"I just saw you just this morning! You solved the mystery of the food in the fridge!"

"Oh."

"Well, now I'm hiring you guys to do something for me. I looked in there this morning, and all the beer's gone."

"Have you asked the sleepwalker if she has anyting against beer?"

"Wasn't her. Ever since that episode, I've been keeping it here, in my room, in a cold ice box, and locked it."

"And someone' stolen it?"

"Yup."

"Maybe you have another sleepwalker?"

"Don't think so. Everyone swears they didn't do it, but I don't believe it. Had to be one of them. I was thinking Half Pint did it, but the locks were all undone, and besides, she wouldn't be interested in what I keep here, and I would have heard her."

"Then it must have been when you weren't in the room."

"You think so?"

"If you say you would've heard them. When was the last time you opened the icebox and there was beer in there?"

"Just yesterday."

"Left your room unattended between yesterday and today?"

"I can't be in there twenty four seven, you know!"

"Well, we'll be righth there."

Arm put down the phone.

"Another mystery, same place."he said, and they got in the car and drove off.

"Now someone's taking beer?"asked Lance.

"Yup."

"Wow. You can't leave anything safe in that place, can you?"

"Looks like it."

"It could have just gotten up and walked away, yo."Toad told Logan.

Logan glared at him.

"Hey, I've seen plenty of stuff grow legs, walk away, and you never see it again."

"Well, I wanna find out what happened to that beer! And when I get my hands on whoever it was..."

"I'll feel sorry for them."said Ear.

"You'd better!"

"I think that guy is an alcoholic."said Eye.

"I don't think so. If he was a good drinker, he'd be drinking tequila instead."Lance told them. "That's what real men drink, not beer."

"Now we can't look for an alcholic, then. Who would wan the beer, then?"asked Arm.

"Well..."

Eye picked up the lock.

"A pickpocket, obviously."he said, looking into the keyhole. "Probably very skilled, but it doesn't look like it was done by an ordinary hairpin. Hmm..."

"Do you think it was someone professional?"

"Doesn't look like it..."

They looked everywhere around the room for clues.

"Have you found anything yet?"

"Yup, we've solved the mystery!"

Logan looked pleased.

"Well?"

"You see, what happens here, is that someone obviously took your beer for a party."

"What do you mean?"

"Someone was going to a party, had nothing to bring, or I don't know, something like that, and just decided that since you've got beer, they would bring that. Now we just gotta find out who went partying last night."

Everyone had to seperate Logan and Evan, after Eye told him this.

"I was going to put it all back."Evan said. "I just thought it wasn't good for you to be drinking so much, either!"

"And you thought it was good for you?"

"I didn't drink any of it, I swear. It was for my friends."

"Well, that was a complete mess."said Lance back at the house, as they watched Aladdin.

"True. I think all those people are a little crazy."said Eye.

"They are."Pietro assured them.

Suddenly, the phone rang, and Arm went to answer it.


	8. Chapter 8

"Specialty is sneaky husbands."said Arm.

"Do I sound like someone who would have a sneaky husband!"yelled the voice on the other end.

"Ow."said Ear, and he folded his ears.

"No."said Arm.

"Do we know that voice?"asked Ear.

"Um, I'm not sure, do we?"

"It's me, you idiots!"yelled Mystique.

"Oh, that one lady, right. We remember you."

"Why haven't any of you been coming to school lately?"

"Been too busy solving mysteries, besides, the other guys have been going to school. We've been staying here, and doing some shopping."

"What kind of shopping."

Lance ran and grabbed the phone out of Arm's hand.

"He's just joking. No shopping. They've just been...here. Alert just in case we get a new mystery, you know."

"That sounds much better."said Mystique sounding pleased.

"Yeah."

"Now, we need to put your skills to good use and you need to come over here and find out exactly why students' cars are catching fire in the parking lot!"

"Fire in the parking lot?"

"Well, mine hasn't. At least not yet."said Lance.

"Uh, maybe they're only doing it to people they don't like, yo."suggested Toad.

"Why didn't I come up with something like that before?"demanded Blob. "It's not fair!"

"Oh, Blob, you couldn't ever come up with anything, even if you tried."Pietro told him.

"And remember, this case gets top priority!"Mystique yelled at them, and hung up the phone.

"Well, you heard her."said Ear. "We better get going."

"Why the hell would anyone want to be setting people's cars on fire?"

"Only Fords."said Lance. "If your car ain't a Ford, you're safe. Just Fords."

"Suspicious."

"Not really. Could just be the competition."

"I guess you're right."

They went and drove to the school, where they parked in the same place they parked every morning.

"I guess we'll just go to class and you guys just hang out around here, see if you see anything suspicious, kay?"

"You got it."

"We'll see you during lunch."

"Anything?"they asked at lunch.

"Nothing."

That afternoon, as someone got into their car, and started the engine, the front caught fire.

"AAAHHH!"

They got out of the car immediately, screaming.

"Again."

"Didn't see anyone, though."

"Must be during lunch, then."

"Right."

"We'll try again tomorrow."

During lunch the next day, they all hid behind a couple of bushes.

"Here comes somebody."said Pietro. "Here they come."

"Hey, isn't that the football team?"

"How can you tell?"asked Ear.

"They're all wearing their football jerseys!"

"Look!"exclaimed Eye.

"Aha!"

"Mystique'll be pleased to hear about this."

They immediately went to Mystique's office.

"Well?"

"We've solved it."

"And?"

"It's the football team!"

"They're doing it as a joke, I guess."

"They were wearing their football jerseys."

"Not the whole team, though, just three of them."

"Which ones."

Lance told them which ones.

"I wan to see them right now."

They went to go get Duncan and two of his friends.

"Well, that certainly was something...weird."said Lance.

"Maybe they only wanted to burn down nerds' cars, yo."

"I don't think nerds drive cars. One I know, this girl, she doesn't drive. I always see her run out of school, and just walk home. Always stops by for an ice cream at the Baskin Robins on the corner. The lady there knows her from what I've seen."

"You know a nerd personally?"

"I just know her by sight, she's in my history class. A real brain. You've seen her. She always wears the same clothes, her hair in a pony tail, carries a heavy backpack, always reads, and walks as though she were on wheels. She walks fast! And she keeps her head down when she walks."

When they got to the house, before they could sit down, the phone rang. Arm answered it as usual.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hello?"

"Who's there?"

"Arm."

"Oh, right. I...you promise you won't tell anyone about this?"asked the voice on the other end.

"Uh, sure."said Arm.

"Listen. I...well, see, it's just that...my birth control pills disappeared."

"Oh?"

"Well, who could've taken them?"

"I...have no idea."

"Well, that's why I'm calling you, isn't it?"

The girl on the other end was almost in tears.

"Well, we'll we right there. Another mystery at the same place."said Arm as he put down the phone.

"Wow. At this rate, we'll end up with the house and everything."said Lance. "These X Men have never run out of mysteries. This is actually turning out to be a good business!"

They went, and Jean wanted them to talk where no one would hear them.

"Where do you usually keep these pills?"

"In my drawer."

"Hmm. Makes sense it would've been a girl. Women usually know where other women will usually hide things."

"Right."

"Who do you think it was?"exclaimed Jean.

"That's just what we need to figure out. Who could it have been?"

"Well, duh, I'll pay you whatever you want, you just have to find those pills."

"I thought we had to find who did it?"

"And them, too."

"Why the hell would anyone want birth control pills?"

"Well..."

"Don't."

"Okay."

"We'll have to go on what we have."

They tried to think what could possibly have happened to those pills.

"They should've gotten a girl to do this!"exclaimed Pietro. "As if we cared what happened to birth control pills!"

"Well, it had to have been a girl."

"Or maybe her boyfriend?"

"Why?"

Arm shrugged.

"He might've. Some guys would like to get married, I've heard."

Everyone looked shocked.

"You get all kinds of weird people."

"Too true."

"Well...?"

"I have no idea."

"Maybe we should just forget about it."

"No, if it was a girl, then we'd better ask a girl."

"Well, you can use them for quite a lot of things."someone told them.

"Really?"

"The doctor prescribes them for me for...you really don't want to know. The point is, you could try figuring out who isn't...you know, that might say something."she told them.

"That wasn't much help!"

"Of course not."

They went the whole day without anything.

"I guess the only way is to tell her we just don't have a single clue."

"But we need that money!"whined Toad.

"I know, but we'll have to wait for another case."

"AAAHHH! No! It was Pietro."

"What?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, I saw him sneaking them in."

"What do you mean?"

"What would I want with those pills."

"To play a joke on them."

Pietro burst out laughing.

"See."

"Why, though?"

"Don't you get it?"he asked.

Everyone shook their heads.

"What are we going to say?"

"She just wanted to see them back, so we don't say anything, yo."

They gave Jean the pills back. She was so glad to see them, that she kissed Pietro on the cheek when he handed them to her. She payed them twice the amount, and happily left.

"Oh, well, at least we got twice the money."

"See."said Pietro. "I took them the last time we solved one mystery for them, you know the one about the beer. If something was missing, then they would be bound to call us!"

"Hmm, true."

They ordered pizza, and ate when the phone rang. Arm answered it.


	10. Chapter 10

"Someone said that you kept on eye on boyfriends."

"Sneaky husbands and boyfriends are our specialty."said Arm.

"Oh, good, because I need you."

"At your service."

"See, I'm dating this guy, but I think he's cheating on me."

Arm took all the information, and hung up.

"New case?"asked Lance.

"Yup. Sneaky boyfriend."

"Is this one planning a birthday, too, yo?"

"I'm not sure. She said for us to meet her here."Arm said, pointing at the address he had written down.

They got into the car and drove off.

"Did she say how were supposed to recognize her?"

"Right there."said Arm, pointing to a girl with black hair and a yellow coat.

"Isn't that one of the X Men, too?"

"I think so."

"Why would she have us meet her here?"

"Oh, there you are. See, I had to see you here, cause no one can find out you're doing something for me."

"Why not?"

"Cause then, my boyfriend would know."

"Oh, I didn't know the X Men enjoyed gossip so much."said Pietro.

Jubilee glared at him.

"The point is, I think he's cheating on me."

"A sneaky boyfriend case, huh? Is your birthday near? Or any special date? Anniversary?"asked Pietro.

"Not that I know of."she said, looking confused. "But you know him. You've seen him. I'm talking about Bobby."

"Oh. The ice dude."

"Yeah."

She gave them all the details they needed to know.

"Well, we can start by stalking."said Lance.

"Right."

They made sure to keep an eye on Bobby the next day.

"He's been on the phone too long."said Lance, as they stood, watching him talk on a public phone.

"Yeah. You think it's another guy? I mean, why the hell would someone in their right minds talk on the phone for three hours?"asked Pietro.

"What's he saying, Ear?"asked Lance.

"Hmm. Sounds like he's talking to a girl. Or, well, a sweetheart."he said, after taking into account Pietro's comment.

They had been sitting there for three hours where Blob had fallen asleep, and Toad had begun to paint butterflies on his face.

"He's about to get off now, it sounds like...He's saying good bye. Is commenting to himself how smart he is that he can pull off such a stunt."

"He's leaving!"

They walked after him. He stopped suddenly.

"I think I hear someone coming!"said Ear.

Everyone waited.

"Hey, isn't that Jean Grey?"

Eye took a close look.

"Yes, you're right. I suppose you got that impression because of the red hair, didn't you? Yes, I can see her clearly. It is her!"

"Oh, my..."Lance could hardly contain himself. "Can you imagine the look on Summers' face when he finds out his girlfriend is cheating on him with that kid!"

"We cracked the case."said Ear, folding his ears neatly and putting his earmuff back on.

"Hmm, I can feel them getting very excited."said Arm. "I don't think they're doing it to be evil."

"Who cares if they're doing it to be evil? We need a witness! No, a picture! Can't wait to hear what Summers'll say!"

Lance ran to the phone, and called Jubilee.

"You need to get over here right away! It's an emergency!"

"Has anything happened to Bobby?"

"We've cracked the case! You need to come see it for yourself, though! You wouldn't believe it!"

"Oh, I'll get Scott to give me a ride."

Later, Scott and Jubilee caught them, while the Brotherhood hid behind the bushes and laughed.

"WhaJean!"

"Scott!"

"Bobby! I knew it!"

"You knew this! And you didn't tell me!"demanded Scott.

"I knew he was cheating on me! I didn't know it was with Jean!"

After a while, the Brotherhood could not contain their laughter and had to leave. They laughed all the way back.

"Good thing she payed in advance."said Pietro, as he and Eye counted the money.

"I wouldn't care if she hadn't paid us a penny!"Lance laughed.

The phone rang and Arm got up to answer it.


	11. Chapter 11

"I need your help!"exclaimed the voice on the other end.

"Sneaky husbands are our specialty."Arm said calmly.

"I don't have a sneaky husband! What I have is a missing television set!"

"Oh."

"See, it was right here yesterday, and now it's gone!"

Arm got all the details, and they were back at the mansion again, with Kurt in despair.

"See? I just can't understand it! It didn't just grow legs and walk away did it?"

"That's highly unlikely."

"Just what I'm saying!"

"When did you last see, I mean, watch it?"

"Um, probably last night."

"Anything unusual happen between last night and today?"

"Um..."Kurt thought about it.

"Well, yeah, Jean was going out with Bobby or something."

Lance snickered.

"Hmm, Scott is really upset."

"I would imagine so."

"This place is a gold mine!"exclaimed Pietro. "I don't know why we didn't become detective before. Before you know it, we'll be solving a big mystery, and they won't have enough to pay us."

"Well, what could have happened to that television set?"

They looked all over the room, and found no sign.

"Hmm, foot prints."said Eye, looking at the floor. "Right here, obviously where they dragged the television set."

"Good work, Eye."

They followed them all the way to a locked door.

"Okay, who in their right minds would lock the tv in their own house? Wouldn't it make sense to leave it where it was?"asked Lance.

"Anyone got lockpicks or anything?"

Lance got a hairpin out.

"You never know when you might need it."he said.

"What are you doing?"asked Logan.

"We found the television."said Blob.

"It's locked in this room, yo."Toad explained.

"Yeah, cause I put it there."

"You did?"

"Why?"

"Why? Cause these kids are too busy watching stupid cartoons instead of training and doing their homework. Got the professor's permission to lock it up until grades improve and everyone moves up a level in the danger room!"

"Oh, well. No mystery then."

"Right. Now get out."

"Ah! But how am I supposed to get my grades to improve without watching Discovery?"asked Kurt.

"Beats me."

"Oh well."

He paid them, and they left.

"At least we don't have to worry about that."said Lance, as they sat around, watching a movie.

The phone rang, and Arm went to answer it.


	12. Chapter 12

"Hello,"said Arm.

"I need you to help me find who set my garden on fire."said a lady on the other end.

"Fire?"

"Yes."

"Oh, well, you've called the right people, Miss."

Arm got the details, and they were once more at the X Men's mansion.

"Here again?"

"Well, these guys never run out of problems, do they? But works out better for us, cause now we have to charge double!"

Everyone looked at Pietro.

"What?"

"Well, how many mysteries have we solved for them?"

Toad began counting.

"Well, let's see, yo, there was the one about the fridge, the one about..."

"The point is,"Pietro interrupted. "We have to start increasing the price! Otherwise, we won't really make as much as we should be making!"

No one really knew what Pietro was talking about.

"You guys just leave it all to me."he said, seeing no one else understood a word.

They went to talk to Storm. She led them out to her garden, or rather, what once had been her garden because now that it had been burned to the ground, all that remained, really were ashes.

"I want you to find out who did this!"

"Is there anyone with a grudge against you?"

"I never thought of that!"

"Maybe someone who likes you, but you don't pay attention to him. You know, he did it, cause he wanted your attention."

"You think so?"asked Storm.

"Sure, why not?"

"Who could that be? Well, now it's more important than ever that you find out! I might have a secret admirer and never noticed!"

She walked off, murmuring to herself.

"Now we have to find the admirer."said Blob.

"There probably is no admirer, Blob!"Pietro said.

"But..."

"That was just something stupid that Eye here suggested. Who in their right minds would actually be after her?"

"Well, what if she has money, yo?"

"I don't think so, not even then, although...maybe..."

"Let's get down to business."Ear interrupted.

"Whoever it was, must've been desperate to get her attention."

"Or maybe the plants just went dry from not enough water, yo."

"You think?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, how else could they have burned so easily?"suggested Lance.

"True."

"No, that's not possible."said Storm, when they suggested this. "Are you just trying to stop me from finding my secret admirer?"

"Um, no, we were just wondering."

"No, see, because I water them with rain water every day at the same time. I use my powers."

"I think we're just going to have to find someone stupid to pretend to be her admirer."suggested Pietro. "Cause this is leading no where!"

Lance went back to the car.

"Might be a good idea to take a little break,"he said, and took out a book.

"Hey!"he exclaimed later. "How likely would it be if...they caught fire from lightning?"he asked. "I mean, well..."

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Well, she says she uses rain. Right here, as Detective Baley, Daneel, and Giskard are leaving, there's a rainstorm. And Elijah sees lightning for the first time! You don't think..."

"What are you talking about, yo?"

"Just the lightning. I mean, in a storm, there's lightning, thunder, you get the idea, not always, but it's always exciting when there is!"

"Sounds like a possibility."said Eye. "It does look like it started in that area right there, which I suppose was the tallest plant from what's left, and follows."

"Wouldn't the water put it out, yo?"

Lance shrugged.

They suggested this to Storm later.

"Oh. Well, things can get out of hand a little every now and then."she said slowly. "I was mad because my nephew, Evan wouldn't clean his room, and I think he's being bullied at school or something. I'm not sure. But what about my admirer?"

"There is no admirer, lady."Toad said.

"What do you mean, no admirer!"

"Well, we thought, but we were wrong. Didn't you hear? The lightning."

"But that means...I killed my own plants, who were like my...and I have no admirer! Oh, now I can see why! Perhaps he was disappointed in me and...! Oh!"

She gave Pietro the money, and ran off, crying.

"That was freaky, yo."said Toad.

Pietro was counting the money.

"Wow! She paid us three times as much, and she didn't even know it!"

"What?"

"See? Now we can even charge this amount! This is just getting better and better!"

They got home, and just as they got out of the car, the phone rang and Arm rushed to answer it.


	13. Chapter 13

"Hello."

"We need you guys over here now!"

"Who is this?"

"You just get over here! It's an emergency!"

"Uh, right."

Soon, they were back at the mansion.

"Again!"

"Don't complain."said Pietro.

"So, we're here, yo."

"Listen, you guys better pay close attention."Logan was saying. "See, Cerebro's been stolen. You guys don't know anything about it, do you?"he asked.

They all shook their heads while he looked at them suspiciously.

"We didn't."they said.

"Well, the point is, you've got to get it back! You hear! If you do, we'll pay you boys well for it."

Pietro smiled.

"Don't you worry."he said. "You'll have that machine back in no time."

"That's what I'm hoping."

"Great, now we're in a big mess. How are we ever going to find that? Who could've taken it. I thought it was top secret or something."

"Apparently not, yo."

"If we don't find it, we just have to make something up."Pietro said.

Everyone looked at him.

"Well, yeah, I mean, we can't give up all that money!"

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Well, then we'll have to think what to come up with. And it's gotta be convincing."

"What would anyone want with a that thing, anyway? I mean, unless they can use it!"

"That's it! It has to be someone who can use it!"

"And what does that help, yo."

"What good is it if they can't use it?"

"Well..."

"That still takes us nowhere."

"Then get thinking. We need that money!"

"Okay, okay, okay."

They suddenly heard two people arguing.

"Why weren't you at the gas station?"

"I was."

"Well, apparently not. Don't try to lie to me, Scott! You get all mad, cause I was doing Bobby a favor, and now you're the one who's lying to me!"

"Looks like things aren't going well for those two, yo."

"Who cares!"exclaimed Pietro.

"She must be stalking him."

"I don't think so. She was here when we got here, I don't think she could've gotten here that fast."

"What do you care!"

"All right, all right. Just saying."

"Maybe we could find something in downstairs."suggested Ear.

They went.

"Hmm,"Eye picked up a red hair. "Anyone around here have red hair?"

"What does that prove?"

"Well, it's long, for one thing. Anyone have long red hair?"

"It could've have been there for months."

"True."

They moved on.

"We've gotten nowhere!"

"Then start thinking about what we're gonna say!"

They heard another argument between Jean and Scott. Apparently, she was upset because he had been at the mall.

"Thinks he can hide from me, does he?"she muttered to herself.

"Wait a minute, maybe she's not actually stalking him, but just..."

"So, have you solved it, yet?"asked Logan.

"Yup!"said Arm.

"See, it seems to me that who stole it is using it to keep an eye on her boyfriend."said Lance.

"What!"exclaimed Logan and the professor.

"What are you talking about?"

"It's easy, really. See, she isn't actually stalking him physically. She's using that to keep an eye on him."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Miss Grey, of course."

They called Jean in.

"Did you take Cerebro?"

"What? Of course not! I'm just as concerned as everyone else is."

"Don't lie."

They went and looked around her room. Logan found it.

"You guys did a good job."he said to them, as he paid them.

"Only doing our job."

They left.

I might write a sequel to this one, with a really big mystery that they solve. Gotta get the details together first, though.


End file.
